Tak's Revenges
by Takster
Summary: Tak's been alone for three years, stuff happens with Zim, Dib gets caught up in it, and what role could Gaz play? TA?R, maybe femmeslash with you-know-who. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Rated M because this story may go where no man has ever before. TA?R! May contain femmeslash. Or not. R&R, post who you think Tak will end up with!  
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Tak was drifting through space. She had been for the past three years... all thanks to hated him with a sickening passion. But she couldn't help but think: she somewhat enjoyed their rivalry. She decided that she would torture, instead of kill him.

As she was thinking about this, she failed to notice the blue-and-green planet approaching. Tak felt herself falling down, down down. She looked out the glass. Home...?

Meanwhile, Zim was at skool, playing around with his pencil, before staring hard at the Dib-monkey (who was also glaring at him) but the bell rang just at that moment. Mrs. Bitters (for some odd reason, she had become a Jr. High teacher just to stalk the children.) Dib met up with Gaz, playing on her GS4. He tried to talk to her, but ended up being punched instead. So he left her and when to annoy Zim.

"Zim! You'll never-" and Dib began his spiel. Zim ignored it, he had learned to. He really didn't care about taking over the earth any more, and tried to tell Dib this to no avail. He tried again anyway. "For the last time, Dib-monkey, Zim cares not for your planet. Even though it's F-FILTHY, Zim somewhat enjoys it here." Dib was a bit shocked, with the 'enjoyment' part, but told himself Zim was lying.

There was a loud CRASH, and lo and behold, Tak's escape pod appeared before them. Tak quickly put on her disguise. Thankfully, no humans save Dib were watching.

"TAK?" "Yes, you morons. Zim, your base is now MINE. You're DEAD if you say otherwise." "Such a futile effort, T-" Zim was in the midst of being strangled. Tak dropped him from a height (Tak, and Dib, had both grown. Zim stayed the same tiny size). "YES MA'AM!" Zim saluted her, to Dib's amusement. Gaz just glanced up from her GS4, saying a quick "Hey." Tak beamed at her, because Gaz was the only one she knew not to be a moron.

All three of the others followed Tak as she walked casually to "her" base. 


	2. Chapter 2

Tak was somewhat uncomfortable being followed by the humans. Even though Gaz didn't look like she cared and Dib was busy annoying the hell out of Zim, who was now insulting his manhood. Tak felt stalked yet ignored, an odd feeling. But she hadn't planned on the humans coming along, she had business with Zim. Very, very, private business.

When the group at last arrived, Tak yelled: "WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?" Dib quickly fled, but Gaz was unfazed, to busy slaying piggies to see Tak's threat. Tak sighed, and tried to say goodbye to Gaz, but she stayed on account of being scarier than Tak. But Tak had a plan. She whispered into Gaz's ear and she ran like the devil. Zim raised an eyelid, hoping Tak hadn't just said... what he thought. Because if so, he was absolutely doomed.

Tak kicked open the bathroom-door and was greeted by a familiar screech. "HEY TAK! Where's Mimi? HUH?" "..." "WHERE?" "...This is her." Tak pulled a cracked-looking canister from her PAK. Gir stared at it for a moment, and then started wailing. "MIMI! WHY'D YA HAVE TO GO AND DIE? I LOVDED YOUZ!" Gir fled the room wailing and flapping his tiny robotic hands. Tak glared at Zim.

"So Zim..." Zim gulped. "You and I, we're going to..." Here it comes. Tak whispered it ino his ear, and without a nose, had a nosebleed. "Zim, I always wanted to kill you..." Tak smiled. "But I always wanted to do this too."

Zim, like a frightened rabbit, ran as fast and he could, but was no match for Tak's long arms. His life flashed before his eyes, and a fate worse than death tormented him.

When the clawing act was finished, Tak stated, "I don't regret this. I spent three years ALONE in an escape pod." Zim was busy staring down the gods. Tak giggled a bit, and in exceptional mood, felt like a jokester. "Hey Zim. You're small, so very small.." Zim's eyes twitched. He was in serious shock. He never expected in his life he'd be forced to take his pants off, and certainly not with Tak. But he couldn't say he didn't enjoy it. He vaguely wondered why Tak was so- DEAR UNIVERSE, NO! It mustn't been her monthly mating craze. And he'd basically gotten her pregnant. /p> 


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Zim was at Skool. Dib noticed something off about his behavior. He seemed scared, and constantly glanced at Tak, who was somewhat cheerful. Dib, as a thirteen-year-old boy, had recently taken his mind off childish things, (except screaming "ALIEN!") and wondered... but his mind drifted to... he shook it off, and the bell rang to go to lunch.

Tak was busy being chatty with some girls, who seemed excited by her unexpected said something, and they laughed thunderously. Zim was sitting in the extreme other end of the cafeteria, poking at his "food" in a blank manner. Dib really wanted to know what was going on, especially since Zim was NOT threatening him or anything. "Zim, dude, WHAT IS THE MATTER?" "Dib-monkey, this is nothing of you conc- THE PIE DIB, THE PIE!" Zim was grasping Dib's shirt, looking terrified. Dib thought for a moment, of Tak, of pie- OH. Dib laughed uneasily, then screamed, at the thought of... what did they do, anyway? His curiosity had once again, prevented him from being normal.

Once Skool was out, Dib caught up to Tak, boredly talking to Gaz about floating in Space from three years, and how she got revenge on Zim (Gaz looked disgusted, but oh so very amused) when Dib said: "Wow, Tak... wow. You... did Zim? WHAT THE FUCK?" (Dib wasn't fond of swearing, but he felt this was the right moment) "And you care why, exactly? You know, your big head is too curious. I ought to remove it for eveyone's sake." Tak snarled, she was very defensive of her privacy, unless she chose to reveal it. Gaz fled before anything happened.

"You're really desperate, Tak." "Maybe I am. Maybe I'll do the same to you... I find it a MUCH more pleasing revenge." Dib's eyes widened. He always DID like Tak, maybe had a crush on her when he was ten, before he found out she was an alien, but why was she acting like this? Ultra-horny? Dib ran away as fast as he could, plotting a plan to figure that out. But he didn't know too much about Irken physiology. Maybe that would have to wait. OR he could milk Zim for information, as Zim didn't seem particularly hostile.


	4. Chapter 4

Dib reached his home, feeling nauseous. Why did Tak have to do… that? I mean, Zim wasn't exactly his friend, but it was disgusting nevertheless. But Dib's craving for more knowledge led him to try to figure why Tak had been acting as she had been. And with a murderous glance from Gaz, Dib began his work- not only to probe her mind, but to see Tak naked. He almost scratched that last part out.  
As Dib slept, there was a rustle outside his window. Being asleep, he didn't notice. But he did wake up when something crashed through his window, even in the darkness he could tell it was something alien. Dib picked it up, and could see Zim's messy handwriting incribed on it. It said: "DEAR whatever-you-humans-worship, HELP ME DIB! SHE'S AFTER ME! P.S. HEEEEEEEELP!" Dib looked down into the bushes, only to see a very frightened Zim. As a boy, Dib had a duty to do. Protect his buddy from obsessive girlfriends. He ran downstairs, and cracked the door, and Zim readily leapt in, perhaps a little overdramatically. "Thanks, Dib-stink, for saving me the… HORROR!" "Shh, keep it down, I think I see Tak." "I wasn't running from Tak." "My sister?" "Yup. She wanted to see that other wretched female, though. I wouldn't let her, and now, well, here the mighty Zim resides." Dib jumped back a little. "I GOTTA SAVE TAK!" "I'd prefer if-" "Shut up, Zim. My sister can KILL when she wan't revenge on anyone, including any that get in her way. Tak doesn't deserve that!" "Uh, yes she d-" "SHUT UP!" Dib dashed out the door, still in his pajamas (also known as his boxers), until he reached Zim's base. He kicked open the door, only to see them just talking. Gaz turned around and snarled. "DIB- would you kindly get out before I eat you alive? Also- nice UFO boxers." Dib saluted, and left as fast as he could. He finally reached his house again, Zim was looking annoyed. "Well?" "Ugh, long story short, I'm a hero when I don't need to be."  
The next day was very, very usual. Except, Dib noticed that Gaz and Tak were sitting together this time around. His sister was friends with Zim's other (and female) arch-rival. Great, probably plotting to eliminate all humans too. He stopped. Why did he try to "save" Tak? She was just another evil alien. She wasn't, though…


	5. Chapter 5

Zim hummed to himself, ignoring everything else that was going on around him. Of course, there wasn't much bothering him at the moment. Even GIR was out doing his own thing. All that was bothering him at the moment was his own thoughts. Tak, Gaz, Dib. Tak had done the unmentionable to him, and he felt ashamed of that. She finally seemed to have her revenge scheme on the move. Her height and new demeanor was plain intimidating enough to make Zim himself cower. He couldn't bear that fact. He had to do something, and fast. Get rid of her, or somehow earn her respect. That would be difficult, because to her he was puny in all aspects. Zim smirked. He had found the perfect idea: he would play a game of mind tricks. Well, that was what he wanted to do. He had some personal feelings against it- He shook his head. "If anything, she's the one playing tricks on me," he commented to himself, recognizing a strange feeling. He found he liked her ability to put him in his place, her ability to scare him. It was unnatural to him, and he felt uncomfortable. He at last decided he needed a drink to forget about the whole mess.

Dib yawned, putting on his glasses. It was a brand new day, a brand new day to save the world, a brand new day to… suffer. He groaned did his usual morning activities. He met Gaz at the kitchen table, who was stuffing her face with cold leftover pizza. "Good morning Gaz," Dib greeted. Gaz mumbled to herself and turned away. This was all the thanks he got for everything he did, but he had grown to expect that from his sister. He heard somebody knocking on the door, and Gaz got up, grabbing her GS4. She opened it, and it was Tak. They exchanged oddly friendly greetings to each other, and left, presumably for Middle Skool. Dib grabbed his own belongings and followed them out. By the looks both Tak and Gaz gave him, he wasn't welcome, but he stayed with them anyway. Dib had a few suspicions about Tak's motives.

Zim joined the group about halfway to Skool, but by a few minutes after that Tak and Gaz were one group while Zim and Dib were the next. They went separate ways. "What's with my sister and Tak?" Dib asked mainly to himself, but Zim responded anyway. "Zim knows not! All Zim knows is that Tak is messing with his ego!" "How so, exactly?" "She's put Zim under some sort of delusional state that he _likes_ being treated this way!" Dib couldn't help but giggle madly. This was one quote that would go in his memory bank forever. "Well, heheh, Zim, I think you just DO. I don't think Tak has magic powers or anything." "Maybe she does! WHO KNOWS?" Zim punctuated this with a dramatic flail of his arms. "Zim, just be quiet…" They had arrived at school anyway. They sat down in their homeroom, which was of course that of Mrs. Bitters. "Now class, I'd like to thank you for being unusually quiet today…" Zim and Dib noticed the room was empty except for themselves and Mrs. Bitters.

"Losers!" yelled Gaz, back at her own house, over the noise of the party they had thrown consisting of most of the school. "Wow, they are, Gaz. They don't have any friends besides themselves. They should _marry_ each other, am I right?" "Just shut up Tak, and get in the closet with me." Tak smiled. The boys at the party cooed.


End file.
